What I Think

Amanda Bynes Wants To Be A Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her

I MEAN CAN YOU BLAME HER? I am one. Beyonce is one. Anderson Cooper is one. We’re a good group.

You’re probably pretty thoroughly updated on the ongoing bizarre behavior from the former queen of Nickelodeon, but I’m here to connect a few more dots for you. It seems as though Amanda is trying to transform herself into a dope black woman in order to win Drake’s attention. However, homegirl is struggling, to say the least.

Exhibit A: Blac Chyna

Amanda already told InTouch that her goal is to look like the exotic dancer and mother of Tyga’s progeny. However, I’m guessing that the percentage of the population that fully understands who both Amanda Bynes and Blac Chyna are is a slim one at best. For some reference:

Screen Shot 2013-06-02 at 9.20.47 AM

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amanda chyna

amanda chyna mirror

Yeah. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Drake, who we know Amanda has very romantic feelings towards, holds a deep respect for the stripping industry and has rapped about his special kind of appreciate for Blac Chyna specifically. Amanda is copping Blac Chyna’s steeze to try to get Drake on his knees.

Exhibit B: Rihanna

In a move that seemed to come from beyond left field and all the way from the last space in the parking lot, Amanda Bynes was an unbelievable asshole to Rihanna:

amandavsriri2013.2

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And a hot pocket minute later, she’s gushing about how amazing and beautiful Rihanna is:

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Amanda really likes to call people ugly, which is most likely a reflection on her own self-esteem. Let’s be real, Rihanna is a lot of things, but ugly is not one of them. My guess? Perhaps Amanda is feeling a bit of jealousy towards the woman that Drake literally fought a crazy person over.

Exhibit C: Cassie

Mmmhmmm

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amanda cassie

Now, I can’t think of any specific Cassie/Drake ties, BUT Cassie really has, against all odds, been trucking along with her musical career, which we now know to be Amanda’s new goal:

“I’m looking forward to a long and wonderful career as a singer/rapper!”

Exhibit D: Nicki Minaj

Screen Shot 2013-06-02 at 9.18.41 AM

amanda nicki

IF TRUER WORDS HAVE EVER BEEN SPOKEN, I HAVEN’T HEARD THEM.

In all fairness, Nicki does have some incredible wigs. Like, if she threw one my way, I wouldn’t be mad about it. Nicki Minaj is that bitch in the rap game right now. How much do you wanna bet that Amanda puts on this raggedy wig and lip syncs to “Starships” in the mirror? Also, Drake has been very public about his feelings  (surprise!) for Nicki and they are, of course, both members of the Young Money family.

So what do we have here, people? Is Amanda Bynes so obsessed with Drake that’s she’s literally trying to transform herself into all the women that he loves? Well, yes, I imagine that’s part of it. Mostly, though, it just seems like Amanda really, really wants to be a dimepiece black woman–but really, don’t we all?

There’s obviously nothing wrong with admiring and emulating these bad bitches, but maybe just be happy with yourself AMANDA PLEASE? And if Drake doesn’t love you because you’re not an international pop star or a super stripper, get better wigs and keep it moving.

2 thoughts on “Amanda Bynes Wants To Be A Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her

  1. Pingback: Belated Weekend Blog Hog: Excuses, Excuses | Eunoic

  2. Pingback: When Black Celebs Become White … Beyonce , Nicki Minaj, Rihanna | What's Catchy?

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